Screw You, Knicks Fans

Seriously, where do you people get off booing me, when you're the reason we're losing in the first place? Other teams have their sixth men working for them. Dallas has Jason Terry, Detroit has Jason Maxiell, and so on. Wait, what's that? You expect our sixth man to be an actual basketball player? Have you seen the moves I've made? Listen, I trade away lottery picks for Malik Rose. I had Allan Houston making $20M even though he couldn't play basketball, and the league made up a rule called the Allan Houston Rule to let me off the hook by waiving him, and I didn't use the Allan Houston Rule to waive Allan Houston.

You know, normally I don't give a fuck about you white people anyway. You're just jealous because I can call women bitches and you can't. But you'd better be damn sure that I need all of you to be my sixth man, because Renaldo Balkman sure as fuck can't do it. Nate Robinson's midget ass sure as fuck can't do it. David Lee probably can, but - lest you forget - I don't give him enough minutes because I have no clue how to run an NBA team. You can't fault me for that.

And now I'm getting booed simply because of the product I've put together. You guys have some nerve, paying hundreds of dollars to see a team you hate, with a roster that's alternately lazy, fat, and insane. Dammit people, don't you understand that you have almost a 1 in 3 chance of seeing us win? You can't get those kind of odds with the fuckin Lotto! You bitches (see? I'll say it whenever I want!) in the courtside seats better get used to me, because I sure as fuck ain't getting fired.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to return to running a storied franchise into the ground. Some people still remember me as one of the best point guards of all-time, and I need to erase that memory forever.

Bitches.